Lupe Fiasco]
First rule, never let em change you
Rule two, do you to the fullest
And never be ashamed to
Your just good at what they can’t do
And they hate that, they wanna paint you
In they color, put you on another
But what they don’t accept, and what they don’t see
The best thing is what you already be
Lupe could not have said it any better.
Most people try to have an image of you, something to holy, up on the pedestal and when you do something different..something they did not expect you to do, all of a sudden "you are not the person they thought you are."
First of all, who gave them the right to categorize you to what personality you should be?
I find that most people will always, put you on a category they have in place. Be it looks, the way you talk, the way you handle things, the way you express your emotions, the way you tell the truth (or lies), the way you live your life. Once you meet a person, they put you on such a pedestal (or drop you off a building) basing on the little information they know about you.
It takes a lifetime to know a person. To judge them with one little thing they do that is against their "category" is quite unfair. This is the reason why I never get mad at things i don't agree with, or try to figure out "why" people do what they do. People have done me wrong, have said hurtful things to me, have stolen my dreams, have crushed my beliefs. my friends ask me "why are you not mad?" or "how do you get over it so quickly?"
I have a few answers:
1) Grow up
2) Be transparent.
3). Don't waste your time trying to wonder why they did what they did.
4) Listen to yourself only. If you fail, you have no one to blame.
5) Trust God and your instincts.
In my relationships with people, I often come across those that I barely understand or agree with, and some that I click with instantly. I never judge them for how they relate to me. It's their life, not mine. When someone has done me wrong, I barely get mad. Upset? Yes. But I get over it so quickly. Why? Coz life is good. Every second you waste trying to live the past is a second you lose envisioning your future.
Now I do have to bluntly say, when I look at people's facebooks and see their walls, and knowing what I know about them, most people show such a different personality.. Like a Jekyll and Hyde kinda thing.
I don't understand why, for some reason, people have to pretend to be who they are not to put on such a perfect picture for other people to look at.. But behind the painting is a completely different person.
I must say Im little to nothing about such pretentions.. It's a major recipe for disaster.
This explains why most relationship become "boring" after a while. Because they do so much in the beginning... Trying to impress the partner.. Being their absolute best to get the other's attention (and the cookie of course). In the beginning stages we are the most creative when it comes to impressing the other person, or proving that we are good enough for them.
Then as time goes we go back to the "normal" us. Complacent, comfortable us. Not so creative anymore. Very less exciting, no spark, etc etc whatever it is we complain about.
If we were just transparent right away in the beginning when we meet someone then we wouldn't have this problem.
As for me, I am honest right in the beginning. Everything is all on the table. Nothing to hide, no surprises either. If a new friend/partner likes me, great! If not, at least they know who I truly am. If they don't think we will click (which I'm sure would be mutual), then at least we know sooner.
I really lose respect (or don't have any respect at all) to those who pretend that they are at their best in the beginning.... Then show their true self after that...
What's the point? Really?
Hyprocrites.
#Marine
So I heard from my beloved Marine today and talked for about 45 or so minutes.. it felt good to hear that he is safe and enjoying my country.
When we got off the phone I was thinking...
The summer has gone by really fast..
And breaking up with him was a necessary decision. We're so much better now as we're friends.
Not sure if it will go to the next level, but I'm open to it.
He is a good man.
I am excited if he does decide to go with me to Alaska. I think it will be a short sweet trip.
Great weekend overall.
When we got off the phone I was thinking...
The summer has gone by really fast..
And breaking up with him was a necessary decision. We're so much better now as we're friends.
Not sure if it will go to the next level, but I'm open to it.
He is a good man.
I am excited if he does decide to go with me to Alaska. I think it will be a short sweet trip.
Great weekend overall.
"Most Men Are..
Faithful only to the extent of their options.."
Best quote I've came across with today.
Best quote I've came across with today.
Next Next: Planning Ahead
Gay Pride New York 2011
Greece end of 2012
London Christmas of 2012
Dubai Summer of 2011 -updated
Thailand end of 2013
New Apartment Summer 2011
New Car End of 2012
New Career July 2011
5/k a month passive beginning February 2011
skydive
scuba/snorkel
zipline
dogsled
parasail
......more to come.
Greece end of 2012
London Christmas of 2012
Dubai Summer of 2011 -updated
Thailand end of 2013
New Apartment Summer 2011
New Car End of 2012
New Career July 2011
5/k a month passive beginning February 2011
skydive
scuba/snorkel
zipline
dogsled
parasail
......more to come.
SynCiti Overnight
Saturday, 5pm.....
ringgg ringg..
me: Hey ray what are your plans tonight?
ray: uhm no plans yet. dont know. about you?
me: i dont have any either..
ray: would it be too crazy if we drive to Vegas tonight?
me: absolutely not! Let's go.
ray: ok ill meet you in half hour.
half hour later, air in tires, two water bottles, doritos, pasta salad, starbucks coffee, no change of clothes.. got on the freeway. then...10ish PM. Arrived in Vegas.
then... you know youre having a good time when the pictures become blurry.
or... when you find yourself eating at Denny's at 5am.
and then to the car.
Then passing out [in the car] and waking up at 10 AM.
10:30 AM. On our way back to Los Angeles.
What did you do last weekend? LOL.
ringgg ringg..
me: Hey ray what are your plans tonight?
ray: uhm no plans yet. dont know. about you?
me: i dont have any either..
ray: would it be too crazy if we drive to Vegas tonight?
me: absolutely not! Let's go.
ray: ok ill meet you in half hour.
half hour later, air in tires, two water bottles, doritos, pasta salad, starbucks coffee, no change of clothes.. got on the freeway. then...10ish PM. Arrived in Vegas.
Yes. That IS Foam.
then... you know youre having a good time when the pictures become blurry.
or... when you find yourself eating at Denny's at 5am.
and then to the car.
Then passing out [in the car] and waking up at 10 AM.
10:30 AM. On our way back to Los Angeles.
What did you do last weekend? LOL.
Music runs in the family.
See, we're meant to be on stage in front of millions.
proud of my aunt! long old video but it was just a start!
proud of my aunt! long old video but it was just a start!
Pointless #UberDramatic
Ok maybe I am dramatic about this whole thing.
I thought I can get past the whole non-committing relationship thing (so called cop out open relationship thing) but looks like I cant ever be what I am not. I still go back to my roots. My monogamous committing roots.
This summer has quite been interesting.. in my search for a committment I end up meeting the non committing types (oh Lord, why challenge me? lol). One summer, four boys (only one was man enough to committ) and everything else-- almost a complete waste of time and energy. Not that it was a failure, it was a lesson indeed.
I should say my exboyfriend leaving for deployment kind of opened the doors again for me since I cannot commit to another long distance relationship again (good God I have 2 years of experience on LDRs). Looks like the men I ran into mostly either 1)Don't have their shit together or 2) have some serious Ex Baggage so they can't move on. Wtf, where have all the decent man have gone. I need to refresh my roster.
I sat down and contemplated on the things I wanted in life. I definitely want a relationship--but this week I found out two of my friends are getting married--at such a young age--with people they havent really known for long. As I evaluate their situation, and as I do with mine, I came to a conclusion that although I want to be in a committed relationship i cannot (emphasis) settle with someone I "kind of like." He has (emphasis) to be what I pictured him to be. Ok maybe that's asking for too much but id rather be picky and happy than settling and miserable.
How do you men do it? How can you be so involved with a woman yet not committ to them?
done. i am done. lol. i wanna be away from these men who do not know what they want in life. and dragging women along with them on their journey on misery lane.
I know
shoot me again. I'm sexist.
i dont even know why I wrote this blog. smh.
I thought I can get past the whole non-committing relationship thing (so called cop out open relationship thing) but looks like I cant ever be what I am not. I still go back to my roots. My monogamous committing roots.
This summer has quite been interesting.. in my search for a committment I end up meeting the non committing types (oh Lord, why challenge me? lol). One summer, four boys (only one was man enough to committ) and everything else-- almost a complete waste of time and energy. Not that it was a failure, it was a lesson indeed.
I should say my exboyfriend leaving for deployment kind of opened the doors again for me since I cannot commit to another long distance relationship again (good God I have 2 years of experience on LDRs). Looks like the men I ran into mostly either 1)Don't have their shit together or 2) have some serious Ex Baggage so they can't move on. Wtf, where have all the decent man have gone. I need to refresh my roster.
I sat down and contemplated on the things I wanted in life. I definitely want a relationship--but this week I found out two of my friends are getting married--at such a young age--with people they havent really known for long. As I evaluate their situation, and as I do with mine, I came to a conclusion that although I want to be in a committed relationship i cannot (emphasis) settle with someone I "kind of like." He has (emphasis) to be what I pictured him to be. Ok maybe that's asking for too much but id rather be picky and happy than settling and miserable.
How do you men do it? How can you be so involved with a woman yet not committ to them?
done. i am done. lol. i wanna be away from these men who do not know what they want in life. and dragging women along with them on their journey on misery lane.
I know
shoot me again. I'm sexist.
i dont even know why I wrote this blog. smh.
You, Creatures of Mars
Why are you such a big distraction.
You have the power to ruin a life,
to create a life,
to create success,
to induce failures,
to seek pleasure,
to ignore love,
to acknowledge lust,
to provoke infidelity,
to structure a solid bond.
To break a woman's heart,
to sweep them off their feet,
to appreciate for what theyre worth,
to have apathy against our emotions.
to be so cold,
yet so warm.
To be so nice in the beginning.
to be put in such a high pedestal.
to expect a lot,
talk a lot,
creating dreams and promises you never keep.
To be so nice so you can get us to bed.
and if we surrender,
you show your real self.
selfish, pleasure seeking individual,
who, could only care about nothing.
Men
you are driven by your lust
when you find a woman
too good
you can't handle.
we need more men
of honor, of their word,
who will appreciate a woman of what she's worth.
not to toy with her heart.
and with her emotions.
who will surrender their ego.
to show a woman
how she should be loved.
who won't live up to the stereotype of being "the shit."
big egos=non quality choices.
big egos with small pockets
nothing to show for
too much to brag about.
Where are all the traditional men have gone.
I know.
Shoot me. I'm sexist.
You have the power to ruin a life,
to create a life,
to create success,
to induce failures,
to seek pleasure,
to ignore love,
to acknowledge lust,
to provoke infidelity,
to structure a solid bond.
To break a woman's heart,
to sweep them off their feet,
to appreciate for what theyre worth,
to have apathy against our emotions.
to be so cold,
yet so warm.
To be so nice in the beginning.
to be put in such a high pedestal.
to expect a lot,
talk a lot,
creating dreams and promises you never keep.
To be so nice so you can get us to bed.
and if we surrender,
you show your real self.
selfish, pleasure seeking individual,
who, could only care about nothing.
Men
you are driven by your lust
when you find a woman
too good
you can't handle.
we need more men
of honor, of their word,
who will appreciate a woman of what she's worth.
not to toy with her heart.
and with her emotions.
who will surrender their ego.
to show a woman
how she should be loved.
who won't live up to the stereotype of being "the shit."
big egos=non quality choices.
big egos with small pockets
nothing to show for
too much to brag about.
Where are all the traditional men have gone.
I know.
Shoot me. I'm sexist.
What Your Facebook Relationship Status Say About You.
Mark Zuckerberg really banked on this one.
What exactly is a better way to stir up confusion/resolution/arguments/settlements than to put up a box that has a drop down menu of your dating relationship status and have the option to put it in a small box next to your profile so people can see it?
haha.
Does your relationship status really define who you are?
I used to date a guy whom would go to my friendster page, and after a year and a half of dating him, he still brings up "so you're single huh, it's on your friendster page." No big deal, i said. For sakes i've been dating this guy for over a year!
But then again, I also dated a guy and made it exclusive, but his status remained 'single' on his facebook.
Which I thought was a little unfair.
So now the issue is,
If you bring it up, it makes you look like you care so much about such little thing as a facebook status.
If you DONT bring it up, then it creates this uncertainty whether you're really exclusive or not.
Then, if you make it public, your partner questions it.
if you DONT make it public, your partner STILL questions it.
If you switch it up publicly (e.g. facebook status with that little red heart next to it), helllooooo conversation!
then you'll see friends deleted, friends added, serious facebook catfights between women (on and out of facebook), gossip, arguments, victories, etc. (victories i say because, at one point I won haha). Why is this little thing so important anyway?
Maybe it does tell you about yourself, a little bit about your dating status, an announcement to the world whether you're in the market or not, or simply something you do out of spite to prove a point to another person.
My point of view is:
If the relationship is exclusive, then there shouldn't be any problems in posting it as "in a relationship."
If uncertain, might as well not put it public.
IF there is no exclusivity, perfectly fine to put it as "single" until you are exclusive with someone, and you can do the above.
If you claim to be exclusive with a woman or a man, but remain "single" in your status, then you are creating uncertainty and lack of trust. Again, might as well not put anything and not make it public.
If you are kind-of seeing a person but not sure whether to go exclusive or not, then stay "single."
Open relationship is a cop out. Open relationship means only one thing: SINGLE.
(how could you be seeing other person but/and claim to be with one? doesn't make any sense.)
Divorced
Widowed
Separated
.. Do you really wanna tell the whole world about this?
It's complicated
Just shows your indecisivenes. If it's that complicated, decide whethere you wanna be in a relationship or be single.
In a relationship with XYZ
My favorite. I commend these people who are open and proud of who they are with.
Whatever happened to..
"let me take you out and get to know you more?" or "are you seeing someone else coz i would like you to be mine alone." or "I like you to be my girl, if that's ok with you." or "I can't be in a relationship right now, so we can stay friends."
Let's do us all a favor.
Honesty still remains the best policy.
TIPS:
MEN: Please be clear of your intentions. We'll treat you like a real Man if you tell us what you want.
WOMEN: React accordingly and promptly to whatever the Men's intentions are. Appreciate their honesty instead of being a bitch about it.
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